Untitled (which is a title actually, isn’t it?)

It’s taken me six days to remember how to breathe; and I’m still trying to master sleep.

At this point I will issue a product warning:  this is the season of Lent, a time when I reviewed all the things that I might give up; chocolate is a favorite, ice cream (that’s a biggie), when I was younger; sex (solo and shared).  This has ben a year of changes and reflections; this year I was going to take more on: more prayer (10% of my day, 2.5 hours), teaching Sunday School…giving, not taking on.  So I prayed on it, right?

Answered prayer is a bitch.

I am with the octogenarians, parents to my wife, the SWMBO.  I asked to do this(?).  Mom has been diagnosed with a cancer; it has metastasized to her spine…limiting her movement in shoulders, arms and hands and has brought on pain, pain of a level she had not known before.

Now let’s us introduce pain meds, fun for a day or two and then the hallucinations, the falling and an unpleasant disposition.

We’ll add in a heavy dose of denial, “mini-strokes” and the onset of dementia.

Do, do be sure you ask for what you want in prayer.

Communication is a challenge;  Drs. don’t recognize my status, they talk to Mom, I remind her of the conversations and I’m a liar, Dad’s in the room, physically.  “Dad, do you understand what we are going to be doing?”

“What’s on tonight?  Tues is NCIS?”

“It’s Friday”

“Mom, we have to be at the Interventional Radiologist’s office in half an hour, have you got everything?”

“I don’t want to go, I don’t need to go, I’m strong.”

“If you walk away from this fight without the weapons they’ll give you…you’ll be weaker in spirit and body and you will lose.  And you may very well die.  It will kill you.”

“Give me your hand and we’ll go get you signed in”

“I hate you.  No one is going to run my life.  Don’t treat me like a child.”

“I know…you can call your insurance company and see if they will cover a care giver you like…after we get you signed in”

Dear readers,

Did you know that there are things YOU can do to help a cancer patient, their family and care givers endure the time before, during ad after treatments.

Every treatment center waiting room has a book exchange with very limited numbers of old, for the most part tasteless, paperbacks.

You’re writers, artists and readers; collectors, gather books; stand up at your Starbucks and ask.  For those that are truly bold, volunteer yourself for twenty minutes a month and make sure that the two shelves on a small book case has something to offer…maybe your new tome.

Answer someone else’s prayer, qietly let them know that someone cares when they may in doubt.

Peace out


Author: MW Moore

I am surrounded by books with great, even heroic quotes, grand philosophies and theologies, mysteries and wonderments. I've never met an author of any. Oh what a finer person I would be if I had raised my voice above the pounding of the sea with Cicero, walked with Saul on that road to Damascus and on and on and on. Well, I didn't. But I've met some pretty swell people that had something to say...and many are related to me; they're My Family Jewels.

7 thoughts on “Untitled (which is a title actually, isn’t it?)”

  1. A hard time for all of you. I have spent a great deal of time in waiting rooms, the kind of waiting rooms no-one chooses ti be in, and you’re quite right, the literature in them leaves much to be desired. I have left books behind for others, and hope others do too after reading your post.

    1. Harder times for Marion than me and John, well John has a brand new day, every day. Thank you for the kind words and the books you left for others. It is the littlest things that make the biggest difference in the lives of those around us.
      peace out

  2. O heavens, this brings back such awful memories of trapped-dom in others’ diminishings and dyings. This is love with the pedal to the metal, and I hope someone will spell you regularly. You know I’ll be praying for all of you. And thanks for the heads-up about book needs in the treatment areas.

    1. Thank you so for the prayers, I am a prayer junkie myself, and it is the strongest weapon in Marions arsenal. Regrettably, I have three days leave and then on for the next six weeks. I’ve thought about adding ambien to the ice crAgain thank you.eam sprinkles and slip away for a few hours…and just joyfully scream.

  3. It is making more sense now HW. You will be in my prayers (I did not understand who the octogenarians are)
    I have not always read your posts chronologically :/
    Thank you for this insight and inspiring thoughts toward our part in being available for our community in the most difficult circumstances.
    I wish you well in the care you give – though I am pretty sure you do one hell of a job.

    Bless you dear

    1. The Octogenarians are parents to the SWMBO, care of them is a task that she and her siblings aren’t able to face.
      and then there was me…ta-da. (and you call yourself the idiot)

      1. Oh bless you dear Sir. You know about Karma right? 😉
        You are so lovely! Did you get my comment on Major Darcy?
        (though I imagine you have your hands rather full – )

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